‘Act Your Age’ – Why The Social Expectations of Aging Are Wrong

Act your age! The phrase is a common one – normally applied to people who don’t quite act how convention thinks that they should.

For people in their 20s and 30s, the phrase often suggests that they should ‘grow up’ and stop acting like they’re still in high school. Maybe they ‘should’ get a job, stop being ‘immature’ or something else to that effect.

There are countless so-called rules like that all through life. Just take a look online, there are lists like ‘What People Should Stop Doing When They Turn 30’ and ‘11 Things You Should Stop Doing When You Hit 40’.

Here are some examples of the upper age that you ‘should’ stop doing things (based on a survey of Brits).

• Having long hair – 40
• Using hair product – 38
• Wear a bikini – 46
• Wear trainers/sneakers – 49
• Visiting a nightclub – 44

Here’s another list

• Having children – 43
• Using dating apps – 52
• Playing video games – 54
• Eating fast food – 61
• Getting married – 75
• Being in a long-term relationship – 85

Do you agree?

Age restrictions like this tend to be based on survey averages, so they’re a good indication of how ‘society’ thinks that people should behave.

Yet, in practice, acting your age is often an overrated concept, one that does little good. After all, what is the harm of wearing a bikini into your 70s or having long hair?

Research even suggests that the age you feel is much more powerful than your actual birthdate. This subjective age has significant effects on physical health and on mental health. In fact, subjective age can even predict the risk of death and other health outcomes.  

Researchers feel that this subjective age may be why some people seem to do amazingly as they age, while others fade and experience much less life.

As one article states “The extent to which older adults feel much younger than they are may determine important daily or life decisions for what they will do next”. This means that feeling and acting younger than your physical age may have dramatic health benefits.

There have been some other interesting findings too.

• People who are young at heart still experience some of the positive changes that come with aging, like becoming less neurotic, more conscientious and having more wisdom. But, they do this without losing the energy and exuberance that is connected with youth.
• The flipside is also true. People who feel older than their physical age have an increased risk of death.
• Feeling younger also makes people less worried about the typical concerns of their age group, along with aging stereotypes.

In a sense, these outcomes aren’t surprising.

If you feel like you are too old to do something, there’s a good chance that you won’t do it. This may be one reason why many seniors limit their mobility and exercise. It isn’t so much that they can’t be mobile, but more that they are certain that they cannot. The pattern creates a vicious cycle, as being inactive will lead to negative health outcomes, which then makes activity more difficult.

The answer from research is clear.

There are many benefits to feeling and acting younger than your age – and few disadvantages. Besides, let’s be honest. All of the recommendations about what you should or should not do at a given age are just social conditioning, nothing more.

There are plenty of examples of seniors who defy age expectations, including senior athletes and models. Likewise, many seniors remain healthy and fit regardless of their age.