Food is crucial, yet it can be surprisingly overwhelming. Planning meals, shopping for ingredients, cooking, and cleaning up all require energy – sometimes more than you have.
Then we have the other part of the questions, actually getting the senior to eat. Doing so isn’t always easy. Some seniors don’t enjoy food much anymore or have a minimal appetite. Others are willing to eat, in theory, but are so picky that everything you make is met with disdain.
While there’s no magic solution to the issue, these tips and tricks can have a surprisingly strong impact, making your life much easier.
Simplify Cooking
Experiment With Dump Dinners
Dump dinners are meals where you simply throw the ingredients together and cook them (often in a slow cooker or an Instant Pot). Doing so means fewer steps to worry about and much more hands-off time. The Absolute Best Dump Dinners Cookbook is a great place to look for ideas on this theme and there are plenty of related recipes on food blogs as well.
Pasta bakes are a similar idea, as they’re easily put together and reheat well. Many can even be frozen and stored at a later date.
Practice Meal Prep
Meal prepping is a practice where you are setting up and even cooking meals ahead of time, so there’s little work to be done when it’s time to eat. You might be prepping meals for a few days or even a whole week.
Some people do this by setting aside one afternoon or evening and preparing for the week ahead. This gets most of your work out of the way at once, while allowing you to be efficient with your time.
Advantages include:
- Less stress at meal time. Meals can be overwhelming when you need to prepare ingredients, cook, eat, and clean up afterward (you might need to help the senior to eat too). Meal prep allows you to push off the preparing work and most of the cleanup to a less stressful time.
- The ability to time your work. With meal prep, you can choose the day and time when you get food ready. Some people use a few hours on a Saturday or Sunday to do this, while others might choose to do so in the evening once everyone else has gone to bed.
- Better use of ingredients. If you plan well (or use a guide), meal prepping means you can take full advantage of all the ingredients you have on hand.
For those new to the approach, the book Cook Once, Eat All Week by Cassy Garcia is a great introduction to the field. The gluten free cookbook provides meal plans for 26 weeks, including grocery lists and plenty of instructions.
Try Protein Shakes
Protein shakes are never as powerful as a full meal, partly because they’re lower in fiber. However, they can be a good way to get seniors to consume more nutrients.
If taking this approach, look for nutrient packed protein shakes that aren’t too high in sugar. You’ll need to be particularly careful of big brands, like Ensure and Boost. While these brands have some decent products, they also have plenty of sub par ones (some have as much sugar as a candy bar).
Use Kitchen Tools Wisely
Tools like slow cookers and pressure cookers can make a huge difference in the kitchen. They increase the hands on time for meals, often allowing you to simply set things up and leave them be.
Turn To Sauces, Spice Mixes, and the Like
Do you use meal mixes, sauces, and spice blends in your cooking? If not, it might be time to consider these.
These products save you a ton of time in the kitchen. The right ones are also relatively healthy and taste pretty good too.
Sure, your meals might taste a little better and be a little healthier if they were made everything from scratch. But seriously, the difference isn’t dramatic.
Look For Easy Recipes
Why make things more complicated for yourself? There are plenty of straightforward recipes and cookbooks. Some even stick to five ingredients or less per meal.
Change How Meals Are Served
Focus on Smaller Meals
Some seniors respond well to an eating pattern called grazing, where they consume many small meals throughout the day, rather than a few large ones.
This approach works partly because small meals require less time and energy to eat. As such, they’re less overwhelming for seniors, particularly those who have a limited appetite.
Smaller meals can also be helpful for you as a caregiver, as they don’t require as much effort to prepare.
Think About Appearance
Have you heard the saying, we eat with our eyes? This references the fact that appearance is the first interaction with have with our food.
For seniors who resist eating, appearance may be enough to put them off a meal entirely. Here are some tips for making meals look better.
- Use different textures and colors
- Choose plates that suit the meal
- Focus on smaller portions
- Use edible garnishes, especially for soups, stews, and similar meals
- Add some height
Even pureed foods can be shaped and arranged to make them look surprisingly good on the plate.
Serve Ingredients Rather Than Meals
This unusual approach can work well for some situations. The idea is that rather than cooking a full meal, you’re serving various bits and pieces.
Think of it much like eating a charcuterie board, just with less prep and less focus on appearance. The individual items might look familiar, such as:
- Vegetables, particularly those that taste good raw, such as tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, carrots, spinach, and lettuce.
- Meat, such as deli meat, leftover chicken, sausages, and the like (or meat alternatives if you’re vegan). You could prepare some of this during meal prep.
- A source of carbs, like bread, pasta, or rice.
- Cheese
- Nuts or seeds
- Eggs
You can probably think of many meals that can be made using those ingredients. But… sometimes it’s easier to offer the ingredients individually, especially if you don’t have the energy to cook.
There’s another benefit too – this type of meal can be easier to eat.
The effect is partly practical, as a senior can use their fingers, rather than worrying about cutlery. I’ve even seen discussions on forums where people with depression or low energy simply eat some of the foods on that list straight from the fridge throughout the day.
Is that ideal? Probably not, but it’s still helpful for seniors who regularly refuse to eat.
Try Colored Plates
Some research suggests that plate color has an impact too.
In particular, a high contrast between the plate and food encourages eating. This is why you often see bright blue or bright red plates for patients with cognitive impairment.
Even the color of the plate can play a role, with red plates promoting appetite and encouraging seniors to eat more. That said, it’s best to experiment, as the best color will depend on the meal you’re serving and the senior’s preferences.
Think About The Environment
Sometimes the issue with eating isn’t the food on offer but the environment. For example, bright lights, loud noises, or a painful seat could all make the senior uncomfortable during mealtime, reducing the chance of them eating.
Even the temperature of the room could be a factor if the senior gets cold easily.
Creating a gentler and more enjoyable environment could make all the difference.
Consider What You’re Serving
The final area to think about is the food you’re serving. This includes the meals themselves, the types of spices you use, and even the presentation on the plate. All of these things can impact how willing seniors are to eat.
This area is particularly relevant if the senior regularly refuses to eat.
How Much Do You Focus On Health?
There’s an ideal, particularly when you’re cooking for aging parents, that you should be preparing the healthiest food possible.
However, there are a few reasons why you might not, including the following:
- The senior’s preferences. While many seniors enjoy healthy and nuanced foods, others gravitate towards simpler and tasty dishes, even if these are incredibly unhealthy. They might even want sodium-laden frozen dinners instead of a decent home-cooked meal.
- Their autonomy. If the senior genuinely prefers unhealthy food, do you have the right to force them? After all, the situation is very different than trying to get a 5-year-old to eat their greens.
- Your time is limited. Caregivers are often short on time and energy, especially if you’re working and raising kids as well. Do you want to spend an hour or more in the kitchen each night, preparing a meal that the senior mightn’t even touch.
- The health effects of diet are often slow. Many dietary decisions take years to show up in our bodies. This might not matter as much if the senior is in the last few years of their life.
I’m not saying you need to give up on healthy foods, not at all. There are still many ways to hide vegetables in dishes and to keep the sodium level of meals to reasonable levels.
Similarly, a homemade meal created with a sauce packet is still pretty healthy, but is much easier than preparing that entire sauce yourself.
What Do They Like?
Here’s another thought – food preferences. These influence the food we enjoy and what we’re willing to eat.
The senior in your life might have strong food preferences, which could be completely different from yours. For example, an aging parent might have relied on Hamburger Helper and similar products most of their lives and be resistant to the healthier foods you prepare at home.
Why not ask what types of dishes your parent wants?
You could also give them a choice of a few meals. That way they still get to choose, but you’re not following their every whim.
Tips For Demanding or Overly Picky Parents
Most of this discussion has focused on changes you can make to what you cook to help the senior eat more. Doing so is important if the senior struggles with limited appetite, has multiple health conditions, or is depressed.
What if you’re simply dealing with a demanding parent, one who wants everything ‘just so’? Or, what about a manipulative parent, who almost seems to get joy out of your struggles?
In such situations, the goal is often to step back. You’re not going to be able to please them anyway, so find approaches based on what you need.
Serve Based on What You Eat
Perhaps the easiest option is to make larger servings of the meals you’d prepare for yourself and your family, then set aside extra portions for the senior. This way they still get nutritious food and there isn’t much extra effort on your part.
Picky seniors might rebel against this at first.
Still… many will change their stance and eat what you prepare. Others may realize that if they want the food they like – they’ll need to make that happen.
Look For Shortcuts
If the senior needs their own meals, look for ways to minimize the required effort. This includes many of the approaches we talked about before, like meal prep and cooking large meals that can be portioned out.
Think about your own situation too. Which parts of the process take the most time and effort? How could you make them simpler?
Stop Cooking for Them
Sometimes, you might simply need to stop.
Stop cooking for your parents and allow them to solve the problem for themselves.
Some parents might get back into the kitchen themselves, while others might look at alternative services to make life easier. And some will start to realize how much you’re doing for them and ask you to cook for them again (hopefully in a more humble manner).
The important thing here is that you’re setting boundaries.
Boundaries can be tough at first, but they ultimately lead to better relationships. They also help you choose where you put your energy more wisely, which then means you have enough energy for the tasks that matter the most.
Final Thoughts
We’ve covered a variety of approaches in this post, partly because there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
Still, no matter the situation, you’re balancing two familiar areas – your energy levels and needs, versus what your parent can do.
Thinking about your priorities helps as well. Here are some questions to consider:
Do Your Parents Need a Hot Home-Cooked Meal Each Night?
Would they be okay with cold meals sometimes, like sandwiches? What about meals that were prepared earlier and reheated?
Chilled and frozen dinners are an option as well, like those from Fresh n’ Lean or Jet Fuel Meals.
Can They Cook For Themselves?
What are your parent’s capabilities? Can they safely cook for themselves?
Are there ways to help them do so? For example, you might turn to meal kits and kitchen safety practices to make the process easier.
It’s important to think about the physical, cognitive, and emotional aspects of cooking for themselves here. For example, a person in the early stages of dementia may be able to cook if supervised, while someone in the later stages probably can’t.
On the other hand, seniors with depression may be physically capable of cooking, but find doing so almost impossible in many situations.
Do You Need to be The Cook?
Even if your family member can’t cook for themselves or can’t do it all the time, that doesn’t automatically mean you should.
What are the other options? Who in your life can step in? What about services like Meals on Wheels or paid meal delivery programs?
A friend or neighbor might be willing to cook for a fee (this could be a win-win if they need the money). Local senior centers may have services or advice as well.
It pays to ask around. Sometimes the solutions are there, but they aren’t obvious and are easily missed.
What Matters More, Health or Preferences?
As we discussed earlier, seniors sometimes gravitate towards comfort food in their later years. They’re often looking for meals that taste good and are easy, regardless of the health implications.
Whether this matters depends on the situation.
For example, my grandfather had cancer and an estimated six months to live, and only wanted juice, junk food, and the like. Getting him to eat well would have been exhausting for everyone (including him) and largely pointless.
In contrast, an aging friend dealt with obesity, water retention, and was beginning to find walking difficult. She was in her mid-60s with the potential for decades more of life. In her case, healthy eating was a much bigger deal.
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