6 Ways Seniors Can Play A Part In The Development Of Their Special Grandchild

Families come in all shapes and sizes. Some are the conventional model, with parents raising their children, while others look slightly different. Sometimes grandparents even raise their grandchildren, which presents unique challenges and opportunities for the family unit.

While grandparents may not be as young and spry as they once were, they have a lifetime’s worth of experience to impart. They also have experience at raising kids, so they’re not trying to figure things out as they go along.

The practice of grandparents raising their grandchildren has become increasingly common. In fact, over 7 million grandparents lived with at least one grandchild under 18 in the United States in 2020. This represents at least 1 in 10 American children. Of these grandparents, 2.5 million were primary caregivers for their grandchildren.

However, even those who are not primary caregivers play vital roles in the development of their grandchildren.

Today, we’re talking about one subset of this population, grandparents who have special needs children. Roughly 18.5% of American children currently fall into this category and face additional challenges in home and school life.

Grandparents are in a unique position to support these children, either as primary caregivers or as part of the extended family. So, let’s consider what seniors can do to best support their family.

Steps Seniors Can Take

Learn More About the Grandchild’s Needs

The most obvious first step is to learn more about the needs of their grandchild. Doing so involves educating themselves and asking plenty of questions. This includes understanding the meaning of any diagnoses the child has, plus how these affect the child specifically.

The senior can learn a lot by attending meetings, appointments, and observing any therapies. Doing so allows the senior to understand the child’s challenges and the best way to help them.

Sometimes the grandparent might even turn to education for a deeper understanding, which could even include getting a graduate degree.

Now, there’s a common misconception that a graduate degree is something only professionals need. Yet, a senior with a special education background can provide invaluable insight and support to their special needs child. Because of this, having an online masters in special education can transform them into well-rounded individuals with a versatile skill set.

With such a degree, the senior would be more adept at helping with homework and learning assistance, while also providing other forms of support. They can even adapt teaching techniques and materials to make learning more enjoyable.

Online degrees like this are helpful for seniors anyway, as they offer flexible schedules and allow seniors to learn at their own pace. Some seniors will also enjoy having something to focus on, especially if they have recently retired.

Promote Social Interaction

Another way seniors can help their grandchild’s development is by helping with their social skills. One way to do this is by being a good role model, as children pick up many things through observation. Maintaining good social connections is crucial for the senior’s mental health anyway.

Another approach is organizing playdates for their grandchild. Playdates help special needs children to engage in social activities with their peers. Community activities, like joining clubs, attending local fairs, and volunteering are also helpful.

Positive reinforcement is a worthwhile complementary tool. Here, praising children for desirable behavior helps to reinforce that behavior. Doing so for social interactions increases the chance that the child will initiate social interactions on their own.

Of course, positive reinforcement isn’t just reserved for social skills. It can be used in many other situations and helps to improve self-esteem, focus, and learning.

Create Special Routines and Activities

A great way to establish a bond with a special needs grandchild is by setting up special routines and rituals. These should be something that both the grandchild and grandparent enjoy, and can easily do together.

Such routines and rituals can help the child to feel safe in the presence of their grandparents. The approach also creates a predictable routine for them to look forward to, because routines can help children manage their time and behavior while keeping them engaged.

Similarly, even if a grandparent lives far away, they can still find a way to be engaged and present. Regular phone calls and video calls can be a good way to keep up with them, along with the occasional visit.

Financial Planning and Support

Grandparents can also help their children and grandchildren with financial support. A future-oriented strategy to consider is setting up a Special Needs Trust (SNT). An SNT ensures that the assets (usually money or a life insurance policy) held in the account are used specifically for the child’s benefit without affecting their ability to receive help from government assistance programs. Instead, an SNT is considered supplemental to government benefits.

Financial support can open up new avenues for the grandchild and provide access to resources the child may otherwise be deprived of. For example, the support might help with educational expenses, like special needs programs and materials, along with medical or childcare expenses.

Advocacy

Seniors can also play a crucial role in advocating for special needs children. If appropriate, grandparents can participate in Individualized Education Program (IEP) meetings, medical appointments, therapy sessions, etc.

Grandparents can also help by advocating for the inclusion of their grandchildren in mainstream classrooms. It also helps to be aware of their legal rights. For example, knowing their rights and entitlements under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Raising awareness in the wider community can help reduce stigma and help many other individuals in similar situations.

Finally, joining support groups can also connect them with like-minded individuals, creating a network of support that will undoubtedly aid the children in their development.

Set Realistic Expectations

Caring for a special needs grandchild can be a rewarding experience, but it’s often an exhausting one too. Therefore, grandparents must remember to prioritize their well-being to avoid being burnt out and overwhelmed. Prioritizing their health, including their mental health, ensures that seniors can take good care of their grandchildren.

After all, self-care is not selfish. It’s essential for maintaining positive and emotional health. Grandparents providing support should also remember to reach out to other family members or friends for help and support. Sharing responsibility can decrease the load and provide much-needed respite.

How the Experience Can Help Seniors

We’ve been focusing on ways that grandparents can help their grandchildren, especially if these children have special needs. However, relationships are rarely one-way. The experience of supporting or raising a grandchild comes with its own benefits for seniors.

A crucial one is an increased sense of purpose. Supporting a grandchild gives the senior something to focus on and brings joy into their life. This can be crucial, as having a sense of purpose contributes to a fulfilling life and this is sometimes lost when people retire.

Supporting their grandchildren also provides increased connections between the generations, which is powerful and much needed.

Final Thoughts

Grandparents can support their special needs grandchildren in many ways, including social engagement, financial support, and activities. This support doesn’t even need to be practical. Sometimes emotional support is all that’s needed.

Seniors can also choose their level of involvement, based on their own capacity and the child’s needs. As such, some grandparents may be much more involved than others.

Finally, the approaches we’ve been discussing aren’t limited to special needs grandchildren. Most can be taken with any young child and grandchild. What you do really just comes down to what the child needs. This will vary from one to the next.