Throughout the United States and other nations, there are many people who act as informal caregivers for family and loved ones.
Now, being a caregiver can be a challenging role at the best of times and informal caregivers face additional challenges.
For example, they aren’t paid for their time and the process of caregiving can be expensive and emotionally draining.
Across this blog, we’ve developed many posts looking at various aspects of caregiving, including the importance of self-care, the lack of support available, changes to policy and even the impacts that caregiving can have on health.
But, as with many sites, our focus has mostly been on full-time caregiving.
The term is a general one but it could refer to people who live with an aging parent and actively cares for their needs. You might even consider yourself a full-time caregiver if the person you’re caring for lives with you but you do go out to work every day.
Regardless of the precise definition, the key characteristic of interest is that you’re spending a large amount of time daily with the person that you’re caring for. Such a role requires a major investment of time and it’s no wonder that caregivers often struggle, especially when caregiving occurs over the period of years.
But, what about part-time caregiving?
What about situations where you are only involved a little bit?
This type of caregiving sounds easier. After all, you don’t have to basically give up your life. Or, do you?
It’s easy to underestimate caregiving like this, even if you’re actively doing it.
So, for those involved in this form of caregiving, and those who aren’t, here are some key things that you need to be aware of.
Unpredictability is Killer
If you’re a full-time caregiver, it’s relatively easy to get into patterns and routines.
That’s much harder with part-time caregiving.
Instead, you may find yourself having to drop everything in the case of an emergency or having to change plans at last minute.
Not being there all day also makes it harder to predict or prevent any issues. For example, you can’t see patterns of behavior and you may not know whether the person is weak or strong on a given day.
That just adds to the unpredictability and to the emotional toll.
You Have Less Control
If you are a sole caregiver, you have a lot of control over the situation. For example, you can develop rules and routines to help tackle problems that may develop.
Doing so isn’t always easy, especially if you are caring for stubborn parents. Still, it is achievable.
In contrast, you often won’t have much control if you’re a part-time caregiver.
For example, you may find that other people actively undermine what you are trying to do, especially if there are multiple family members involved in caregiving.
There often won’t be a solution to these problems either.
At the same time, you don’t have control over when the person you’re caring for is going to need more help or over what you’re going to be able to give.
This can be a really frustrating aspect, especially if you’re a person who likes control.
You’re Never Truly Free
On paper, one of the biggest advantages of part-time caregiving is the ability to simply leave.
Often, full-time caregivers struggle to get any time to themselves, especially when the person being cared for can’t be left on their own. So, only have to spend a few hours a day (or less) actively involved in caregiving sounds wonderful.
But, caregiving is something that never really leaves your head.
So, you may have time to yourself but a part of you is going to be wondering about your family member. You may also be passively thinking and planning about their care or worrying about them – without even meaning to.
This means that you don’t ever truly get a break, even though you’re not physically in the same house.
It Involves a Lot of Planning
Planning is hard enough when you just have to worry about yourself.
It gets so much more complicated when you also have to consider the person you’re caring for.
As a part-time caregiver, you may also have to plan for and manage other people.
Those might include nurses, doctors, paid caregivers, other caregivers, people involved with maintenance… and the list goes on.
This type of planning takes a lot of work – especially because people don’t always do what they say they will.
Besides all of that, you may also have to do other types of planning too, like making sure bills get paid, buying food and fitting your caregiving work around everything else you do.
The end result is that you have to make a lot of phone calls and keep up with a range of different people, while also having various tasks to complete.
That process isn’t just restricted to when you are actively caregiving either. Instead, you’ll be involved in it throughout your day.
The Emotional Impacts are Substantial
Any form of caregiving takes a large emotional toll.
In many cases, you’re actively watching a person fade away. You may also have to deal with other challenges, like the way they view you, the things that they say and whether they recognize your efforts.
As a group, caregivers often underestimate the emotional impacts of their role.
This is even more true for part-time caregivers.
After all, it’s easy to think that you shouldn’t feel much, simply because you aren’t doing a ton of work. But, the workload is higher than most people realize and the emotional drain is even more substantial.
This makes sense too.
Even if you are only with the person every few days or something like that, the planning and the unpredictability of the situation all contribute to the emotional impact.
You may actually find that the person is never far from your head and that you’re always wondering about how to make their life better.
So then, it’s no wonder that part-time caregiving can dramatically impact your emotions.
Your Efforts Often Aren’t Recognized
As a general rule, the work of caregivers tends to be under-recognized.
Most people on the outside simply don’t realize the amount of work that goes into caregiving or the physical and emotional burdens that go along with it. Instead, friends and other family members often just look at the basic physical tasks that you do and assume that’s it.
Likewise, people often don’t realize the various limitations that caregivers face.
For example, I was a full-time caregiver for a number of years. In my case, it was possible for me to go out and leave the person I was caring for alone. However, I could only go out for short periods at a time, and the longer I was out, the great risk of coming home to major issues.
As you can probably guess, none of that made any sense to people around me – who simply assumed that I could go out more if I wanted to.
In many ways, these challenges are greater for part-time caregivers.
After all, part-time caregivers do have more flexibility and the amount of time they spend on caregiving is less too. So, people often assume that the role is easy and doesn’t involve much work.
Yet, there really is a lot involved in caregiving, even on a part-time basis. It truly can be draining and it will affect you emotionally in more ways than you even realize.
Family Members Make Assumptions
This issue is connected to the previous point. Because part-time caregiving tends to appear easy, family members often make assumptions.
For example, if you are the main family member involved in caregiving, you may find that your family and even professionals assume that you are going to do any and all caregiving required.
This is particularly significant if you are caring for a person with a deteriorating condition.
In this case, the person may go from being mostly fine on their own to eventually needing someone with them constantly. The progression is often slow.
So, you may start off visiting once every few weeks and get to the point where you’re visiting once a day or even multiple times in a day. Then, there may be talk of other ideas, like being there at night or spending most of the day with the person you’re caring for.
Where do you draw the line?
In most cases, you won’t be the only person capable of caring for your family member.
There may also be other options, like putting them in a form of assisted care.
At the same time, you’re going to have your own commitments and your own physical and mental well-being to worry about.
The actual answer is going to vary from situation to situation and depends a lot on the people involved and your own needs.
But, it’s important to think about the situation seriously.
Maybe you do need to get your family members involved or maybe you have to put your own needs first. There is no correct answer but it’s important to realize that your family members will often be biased or unrealistic in their views.
In most cases, you’ll have to find and choose the answer that suits you personally and your needs – rather than simply going with what people assume.
The Comparison Isn’t Black and White
At the end of the day, part-time caregiving is a different approach and it’s one that comes with its own set of challenges. At face value, this type of caregiving may seem easier but that’s a bit like comparing apples and oranges.
To me, this topic is a reminder about struggles in general.
People often compare struggles, looking at who has it worse and who faces the greatest challenges.
Yet, people are affected to different degrees and in different ways, even if their struggles were identical.
Likewise, it isn’t fair to say somebody’s struggle is less meaningful just because it isn’t as bad as what you face.
At the end of the day, caregiving is hard.
That’s true if you’re caregiving full-time, part-time or something else entirely.
Don’t let people make you think the challenges aren’t real or significant.
They are.
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