When you think about what preoccupies the busy minds of women in their 30’s and 40’s about getting older, the anti-aging cosmetic industry would have you believe it’s wrinkled and sagging body parts.
However, in our recent interviews of 30- and 40-something professional women from California, New York, and the Washington D.C. metropolitan area, we found that their concerns paint a very different picture.
In most cases, it wasn’t so much that women fear aging, but that there were specific aspects of aging that they found concerning.
Some had concerns about becoming chronically ill, disabled, and dependent on others, or not having the financial resources to care for themselves. Others worried about more existential issues, expressing a desire to meet their death without a regret over not having enough fun, or devoting too much time to their profession.
The most surprising thing I learned from these interviews is the very real fear that women this young have over their skills being taken for granted and replaced by younger inexperienced staff in the workplace.
Issues like this may be one reason that people feel that women fear aging.
Still others hoped to enjoy an enriching life, count their blessings, and worried about not being there for their children.
Here’s what they had to say in their words:
“As a middle-aged professional, I do worry that the older I get that I may lose my job to someone younger and “cheaper” for the company. Well, I’ve seen it happen to other people at a previous job in the corporate world. I also worry about health issues.” –G.P., Senior Business Analyst
“I guess not reaching my goals or full potential before I’m old. Not living my life to the fullest. I don’t want to look back and have regrets of not having more fun in life because I was so focused on achieving my professional goals.” -Tiffany B., Clinical Research Professional.
“One of my biggest fears is being replaced by a young little inexperienced fresh graduate thinking she can do your job that you have worked many years of becoming a specialist in your area. Then they pay her less and then let you go or make you feel you are replaceable and your years of experience don’t matter. The fear of not being respected for your professionalism and expertise. Unfortunately, I see it happening and then what you end up doing is becoming very overprotective of your knowledge and skills and decide to not fully disclose everything you know that took you years to learn. Then you come off as not being a team player!” -Vanessa A., Dietician
“My one fear is having been so professionally focused that I never stop to qualify what I’m truly missing. In the quest for knowledge, forgetting one of life’s major blessings is a serious issue, taking inventory of your own life to ensure fulfillment.” -Becky N., Public Health Director
“I am fearful of aging in general, but my greatest fear is developing a chronic disease and requiring daily use of medications. I work in internal medicine and I have seen patients on multiple medications, which are the only reason they are alive. The good news is that modern medicine allows us to live longer than many generations before us.” -Nikita S., Nurse Practitioner
“My greatest fear as a single 40-year-old mother of a toddler, juggling part-time working full-time mommy duties, is a cancer recurrence in the next 15 years. It’s not a disabling fear though, because I practice self-care and gratitude on a daily basis. Nevertheless, it’s very deep. I savor every moment with my son and trust that my personal guardian angel, my deceased mom, will hold us and give me strength.” -Jeanette F., Nurse Practitioner
“I guess my biggest fear is that my body and mind won’t work as well and that it would get in the way of my doing all of the things that I want to do.” -Jessica M., Psychologist
“My biggest fear of growing older is being closer to death. As we get older, the more likely we will be faced with morbidity that could affect our day-to-day activities and can ultimately lead to our death. I also worry about not being around for my children or seeing them grow up. Every day, I pray that God grant me health and longevity for myself, my family and my friends.” –Tashonna W., Epidemiologist
“One fear is that I may become ill or disabled, and in my career and I may not be able to continue making the money I make now. Disability only cover so much. I feel the pressure of having to stay as healthy as possible to avoid ending up in a nursing home because I may not have any children to take care of me. However, nowadays children can also be a financial burden through their 30s and have their own debt, so they would not likely be able to take care me anyway!” -Norma H., Dentist
“Several things that worry me about getting older is getting fatter and my body changing, and having a slower metabolism. It’s hard to work out because of work and kids. Secondly, my parents dying or getting sick. And third, not making enough money to provide lots of opportunities for my children.” -Miryam G., Acting Branch Chief
“My biggest fear is becoming old and with that not having the health to accomplish everything I ever wanted.” -Marla G., Journalist
“One thing about growing older in the workplace is not being able to keep up with the skills knowledge and technology advances of younger workers.” -Sylvia H, Program Manager
“My biggest fear about getting older is the physical changes that come along with age. Wrinkles, fatigue, health problems, etc. The reason for this is because in my profession children and adults have this stereotype of teachers. Once you are over a certain age, they think your ideas and teaching is “old news.” New teachers don’t know enough and old teachers are ” stuck in their ways. I’m at a great age to have the “experience,” but not too old.” -Julia M., Teacher
“Professionally, I fear most not finding a path or platform where I really feel I can use my skills or gifts, whatever they may be. I fear not learning to not surrender to fear of the future. Personally, I fear to be at the end of my life regretting not having done what I loved and I fear dependence on others. I rely a lot on myself now and it’s easy to avoid thinking that one day I might not be able to rely on my strengths or self-motivation. I want to be a fighter until the last minute.” – Lola O., Manager
“My biggest fear is retiring without enough money to take care of any health issues.” –Vanessa C, Associate Principal
What about you? What aspects of aging concern you? Please let me know in the comments section below.
Leave a Reply