At the best of times, caregiving is an incredibly challenging role. Not only can it be physically draining but people also find themselves mentally exhausted and may end up struggling in other areas of their life.
As a caregiver, you can often feel alone or isolated, especially if the rest of your family isn’t involved.
You may also feel that you are underappreciated or that you never have time for yourself.
This was my own experience, as a caregiver for my husband for many years. At the same time, I have seen others going through similar experiences, especially when family members near the end of their lives.
One of the most powerful pieces of advice that I can give is to simply take care of yourself. I don’t just mean your needs either, I mean things that you might think of as a luxury. Perhaps that may mean taking a bath with nice products or going out to the movies once in a while. For some people, this may involve simply sitting down with a good book and a glass of wine.
Unfortunately, caregivers tend to put their own needs last.
It’s easy to see why. After all, you often end up in the position where you have to choose between somebody else’s needs and your own. That’s never an easy choice to make.
From my own experiences, I learned that focusing on your own needs is a lot harder than you might expect. Often it can feel like you’re being selfish.
Personally, I found that when I did take care of myself, I was actively fighting part of me that thought that I was being selfish and lazy.
In my case, I had an advantage.
I was caring for my husband, who was actively concerned about my wellbeing and convinced me to care for myself, even when I didn’t want to.
But, many caregiving relationships aren’t like that. Instead, you may be caring for a person who doesn’t realize all that you do or understand the sacrifices you make. If that’s the case, the process of taking care of yourself just gets that much more difficult.
Additionally, if you are the only person caring for somebody, it can seem almost impossible to actually find the time to do something for yourself.
However, there are always options – you just have to look for them.
My advice is to start small.
There are lots of little things that can help you, which aren’t too difficult to achieve. As I mentioned earlier, that might be a good book or a bath. Sometimes just shutting yourself away for an hour and watching some TV may be what you need.
The other thing to realize is that you’re not alone.
There are a lot of caregivers out there that face similar challenges on a daily basis.
There is also a large number of support groups for caregivers out there. Some are focused on specific situations, such as those who are caring for Alzheimer’s patients or aging relatives. Others are more general, with just an emphasis on caregiving overall.
At the same time, some of these groups meet physically, which is good if you need a social connection. But, there are also some that have online aspects. That may be perfect for situations where it is challenging to leave the house. Online groups can also be powerful for times when you need support or advice immediately, such as when you are feeling overwhelmed.
There are far too many support groups out there for me to go into these in detail but below is a list of some key ones that may be relevant for you. You can also search online to find local ones, such as by typing in your local area + ‘caregiver support group’ into Google.
If you know of any other good support groups, either local or online, please let us know in the comments below.
But, even if you are hesitant about the idea of a support group, they are worth checking out. Often, just having one person who truly understands what you’re going through can make the process of caregiving so much easier.
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