The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook Review

Self-compassion has been somewhat of a fascination in my home recently – particularly the work of Kristin Neff. I’ve written a few pieces about the theory so far, including the way that self-compassion and caregiving intersect. This post is a little different, as I’m writing a The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook review.

The reason is simple, my partner purchased the book recently. It’s become a subject of endless discussion and I see many overlaps between the lessons taught and caregiving. She even has a chapter on caregiving in the book.

A Brief Review

My Story

To explain the significance of this topic, I should tell you a little bit about myself. I’m in my early 30s and a bit of an academic. I have a passion for learning and for writing, which is one reason that I work with Angelica on Kapok.

I was also a caregiver myself, some years ago now. I was caring for my disabled partner and playing a partial caregiving role for his elderly mother. His ability to care for himself was extremely limited and he was very aware of the strain that caregiving placed on me, especially towards the end.

His mother was a different story. She is the inspiration for some of my posts on stubborn parents, as she needed more help than she was willing to receive and struggled with any loss of independence.

My caregiving role lasted somewhere around five years, ending when my partner died.

It was a challenging and isolating time. I had few social connections and few options for support. I didn’t know much about self-compassion as a caregiver, so I was forever beating myself up about not doing more. My lack of self-compassion was a key reason why I resisted self-care so much. I often felt guilty if I even spent a few moments for myself or bought a treat for myself.

Besides, let’s be honest, self-care is an idealistic concept. It’s pretty tough to care for yourself as much as you should when you’re supporting someone else. The demands of caregiving are rigorous. You often don’t have the time, resources or energy to do what you need to well, much less try to support yourself as well.

Don’t get me wrong. Self-care is critical, but it’s not enough on its own.

You need something that supports you while you are providing care, not just in the gaps. You need something for the times where you want to scream in frustration. The times where it’s so difficult to avoid anger, resentment, stress or grief.

I self-taught some of the principles of self-compassion after my caregiving journey and have been learning more lately. There is still so much more to understand. But, even now, I can see how amazing the approach would have been for me as a caregiver.

An Introduction to Kristin Neff

Dr. Kristin Neff runs the site Self-Compassion, where she talks about the concept of self-compassion, her research, events, practices, and resources.

She is considered to be one of the key experts in the field. She was the first to develop an operational definition of the term (more than 10 years ago!) and has conducted scientific research into the field.

She is an eloquent writer and speaker, presenting self-compassion in a way that is easy to understand and connect with, regardless of your background.

Her expertise and passion make Kristin one of the best self-compassion authors to learn from.

What This Book Offers

As the name suggests, The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook is designed as a practical tool for learning self-compassion.

The book has 24 chapters, each focusing on a different area of the topic. These include titles like:

• What Self-Compassion Is Not
• Being there for Others without Losing Ourselves
• Meeting Difficult Emotions
• Self-Compassion for Caregivers
• Self-Compassion and Anger in Relationships

There is a lot of information included in the book. For example, some of the pages are filled with tightly packed information, including plenty of examples and practical applications of concepts.

There are also images, examples, and definitions throughout.

But, this isn’t just a book that you read. The workbook contains various exercises for you to work on. Some of these involve having you think about specific topics, while others may require you to write down information.

There are also blank spaces in the book for you to write down your responses directly. This style makes for engaging learning. You can skip the exercises that you’re not interested in, but it’s best to work through them all if you can.

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook Review

We purchased the workbook after doing a decent amount of reading Kristin’s other work, watching her videos and listening to her audios (including guided meditations).

The main reason for the book was simple – learning how.

Topics like self-compassion are only good if you can put the principles into practice. If you have a lifetime of talking down to yourself, the process of changing to healthier patterns can be very difficult. A guide can make all of the difference.

There was a lot that I loved about the book.

Kristin’s Writing Style  

I love the way that Kristin writes. She has a very straightforward manner, one that is easy to understand.

This combines well with the amount of text that she writes. If she were more complex, the writing might feel overwhelming. As it is, much of the book feels almost like a conversation with a friend.

She also seems to recognize that people have different experiences and learn at different paces. For example, one of the early reflections mentions that some people will experience a sense of comfort from doing the exercises in the chapter, while others may find the process uncomfortable.

This type of perspective is very important.

Far too many authors focus on a single approach or perspective, ignoring the fact that people learn differently.

The Workbook Aspect

Well, to be completely honest, I didn’t much like the workbook style. It’s not an approach that I enjoy in any context. I prefer books to be written in a more standard manner, where I figure out the questions and ways forward myself. But, that’s a learning style preference.

I’m highlighting the workbook aspect because this is one of the key parts of the book. This is also the reason for choosing this product over other books on self-compassion.

For people with the right learning style, the workbook approach will be absolutely perfect.

It is also designed to teach you over time. So, the goal isn’t simply to read the book as fast as possible. Instead, Kristin encourages readers to take their time and pay attention to what they’re reading and what they’re learning.

The Amount of Information

There is a lot of information in each workbook chapter. The amount might feel overwhelming at first, but it is essential. Self-compassion is a large topic and it can feel foreign to some people.

I love the balance between background information, examples and in-depth knowledge. Kristin’s style of writing keeps everything engaging, especially as she periodically addresses the reader and talks about how the information can make you feel.

There’s also great information about some of the research, which is always cool.

A related area is the way that the book is split up. The individual chapters naturally flow on from one another, but each focuses on a different area. This gives you the chance to read the book progressively or to pick and choose the chapters that you’re most interested in.

Problems with The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook

The eBook

My biggest issue with the book is the digital version.

We purchased the physical version for my partner, which is brilliant. But, I don’t get much of a look in at the physical book, so I picked up the digital version for myself.

The challenge is that the book is much like a pdf. This means that it doesn’t resize well on small devices. You can’t change the text size or make it easier to read. That’s a problem because the text is pretty small (especially on my phone) and the pages have plenty of empty white space.

I found that I could zoom in on the page using the pinching gesture. While this works well enough, I have to zoom out again to flick pages, which is just frustrating. Simply put, the eBook isn’t designed for small screens. It is fine on a PC/Laptop or on a tablet. Just try to avoid reading it on a phone.

The Similarity to Other Books

Another challenge is that the book isn’t particularly unique. If you’ve spent time reading Kristin’s site or listening to her audios, you’ll notice many similar themes. The same is true if you’ve read Christopher Germer’s self-compassion book. He’s the co-author for the workbook and his influence is clearly seen.

There are even places where the content is very close (if not identical) to what you find in other content from Kristin or Dr. Germer. This isn’t a bad thing if you’re just relying on the workbook. But, if you have the other books already, the workbook mightn’t add anything new.

In fact, one reviewer mentions that the other books go into the topics in more detail.

This suggests that the workbook is good if you want a step-by-step approach, while other books might be better for understanding the underlying theory.

Other The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook Reviews

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook isn’t incredibly popular on Amazon, with just 31 reviews. That’s in contrast to 145 reviews for the self-compassion book from Christopher Germer. His version reads more like a regular book – making it relevant for anyone who doesn’t like the workbook style.

Almost all of the reviews are extremely positive, rating the book at either four or five stars.

The main exception is one reviewer who is upset that the information in the book is too similar to the information in other books by the authors.

I haven’t read the other books personally, so I can’t really comment.

Still, the pattern wouldn’t surprise me. After all, this book is designed to be a practical version of what the authors teach. It’s not unreasonable that they highlight the same information that they did previously.

This isn’t an issue, as long as you are aware of the pattern from the beginning.

Final Thoughts

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook is fantastic as a hands-on introduction to self-compassion. It’s perfect for people who learn through doing and those who want to be guided through the learning process.

For this reason alone, I highly recommend the book. Honestly, self-compassion has so much potential for caregiving.

You don’t need to use it as a workbook either. You might simply skim the book and pick up the key pieces for your own needs. That’s what I’m doing, as I already know some of the areas.

Still, the workbook won’t help everyone. I suspect that some people will prefer the book from Christopher Germer, as this follows a more familiar writing style. You could also consider the Self-Compassion Step by Step audiobook from Kristin Neff.

I’m not a huge audiobook listener myself, but I can see the appeal. It would be easier to find the time and energy to listen to an audiobook than to sit down and read a book.