We live in a fast-paced world, where we’re often chronically stressed, to the point that it’s making us sick. Finding ways to relax our bodies and minds is critical – and surprisingly difficult to achieve.
I can’t be the only one who has felt strong pressure to always be doing something ‘productive’. Yet, simply focusing on the ‘shoulds’ all of the time doesn’t create much of a life.
Not so long ago, the only time that I would let myself relax was when I had no energy to do anything else. Doing that isn’t really relaxation at all. It’s more akin to zoning out and doesn’t seem to help with much of anything.
Honestly, I could watch movies or TV shows for hours and it was a little like the time just disappeared. I was too worn out to take much in and my whole body just felt like lead.
I tried yoga once, but it just felt like a nerve-wracking exercise class (where I couldn’t do most of the moves well anyway). Meditation wasn’t much better, partly because I don’t sit still well.
I’m far from alone in this challenge. Trends like adult coloring books, mindfulness and meditation all show that there are many people searching for ways to relax.
I wonder how many have found success.
One of the patterns seems to be how fast-paced our world is. We’re so hooked into technology these days, frequently checking apps and looking at screens. Even when we’re not, there’s this tendency towards distraction. Perhaps we think that if we stay busy, the world will be less scary.
Up until last year, I suspect that my definitions for distraction and relaxation were much the same. I tended to look for ways to stop thinking, to unwind from work and just to take space.
Yet, doing so means that we’re creating distance from ourselves. Some of us don’t even have a sense of our own wants and interests (an area that I have personal experience with). Learning ourselves is so important and doing so involves time without distraction. Time where we let ourselves truly relax.
I’ve been on a journey of learning to relax.
It wasn’t an intentional journey, simply a result of spending time with someone who finds relaxation much more natural.
I’ve found myself able to simply sit and be with myself more. I still get bored sometimes, but I don’t need distraction or entertainment nearly as often. The more time I spend simply resting in myself (often out in nature), the easier it becomes.
And, the process doesn’t have to be arduous. For us, relaxation seems to fall in place during the day. Little moments when we’re out and about, where we can stop by the river and watch the water for a while. Things like that.
I’ve been surprised at the difference that I feel.
Much of the background anxiety that I’ve felt throughout my life has started to lift. Life has become, less of a push, I suppose. I’ve even seen physical improvements, perhaps due to less stress and decreased inflammation.
If my experience is anything to go by, and I believe that it is, relaxation is powerful. It’s also something that some of us need to work on.
The goal is to find approaches that helps us to feel refreshed, ones that make us feel more connected, not less. Spending time in nature has been a good technique for me. Giving massages works well too. I suspect that everyone has their own combination of approaches and that finding them will take time.
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