In the previous post, I talked about the stigma that surrounds mental illness. Today I want to highlight a related area, the way that mental illness looks and feels.
To do that, I want to provide some background.
My name is Cassie. I’m a writer on this site and I also do much of the background technical work. I don’t have any background in gerontology, that’s Angelica’s area. However, I have been a caregiver for my disabled partner, while playing a supportive role for his mother as well. That period of my life ended with my partner’s death, a shift that I’m still very much getting used to.
I also have a significant background in mental illness, as I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, and depression.
These issues aren’t associated with my role as a caregiver. In fact, my partner was my guide in learning how to understand the conditions and how to view myself.
The Battles of Mental Illness
I can’t speak to all mental health issues. All I know is what mental illness is like for me. But, I’ve found that my experiences make a good lens to see this world through.
Mental illness often means that some of the common components of life have extra challenges, often surprising ones.
My caregiving experience taught me how to be functional with depression. I learned how to shove my emotions into a box and simply do, regardless of what I felt. As a caregiver, that became essential, as I was often the only person who could do tasks.
But, that functionality was incredibly draining. Every day was a battle against my own head. The effort that it took to stay functional, to stay ‘normal’ was considerable.
That only got worse when my partner died, as I was faced with more emotions and suddenly no one depended on me. I unintentionally masked those emotions, so grief became numbness. My life became numbness. Yet, every day was still an incredible battle.
Simply staying level was incredibly draining.
To make matters worse, no one could see that. I was open and honest about it, as it is my nature. But, mental illness often doesn’t make sense from the outside.
People face many different battles that aren’t obvious on the outside, mental illness is just one example. But, it’s a critical one. It’s so important to not take things at face value. People can look like they’re doing fine when their reality is completely different.
Resolving Mental Health Problems
One of the many misconceptions about mental health is the idea that individuals can ‘fix’ themselves if they do everything right. This might be true in some cases, but for many of us, it is completely fiction.
The advice that I’ve received over the years has varied dramatically, but includes common threads like eat better, get more exercise, increase spiritual connections, increase social connections, use supplements, go to therapy… and so on.
They’re all valuable approaches and things that everyone should do for long-term health. They’re also things that I was already doing.
Mental illnesses don’t tend to have simple fixes. There are many things that can help, but the underlying issue will often persist.
In my own case, the biggest shift came from medication.
It’s something that I find fascinating. Once I went past a threshold with medication (which took months to get to), my fight with depression went from an exhausting daily struggle to something that’s much more in the background.
My anxiety has also improved, although that change has been much more gradual.
The interesting thing is that nothing else changed. I didn’t change my social approaches, the food I eat or the way that I think. Instead, the medication alone created a night and day difference. To me, this suggests that there was a real chemical problem that underlay everything else.
Now, I’m not suggesting that medication is the answer for everyone – it’s not.
I’m also not suggesting that people shouldn’t follow the other approaches. For example, therapy and social connection have been instrumental to my mental health. I don’t think I would have seen the same benefits from medication if I didn’t have those other areas in place first.
The truth is that mental illness is challenging.
Whether mental illness affects you or someone you know, these patterns are important to understand.
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