Caregivers often need to be actively involved in their family member’s medical care. Yet, talking to your parent’s doctor isn’t always easy. The situation may be further complicated by the senior patient, especially if they’re stubborn or resent your involvement.
These approaches can help make the process a little easier.
Listen to & Involve Your Family Member
Getting your family member involved is critical, as is actually listening to them. Many seniors feel frustrated with doctor’s appointments, especially when it feels like they are being ignored. In fact, some doctors will almost ignore the senior and talk to the family member instead – which is just plain rude.
It’s important to find a doctor who is able and willing to get your family member involved. As a caregiver, you may be able to fill in gaps that your family member can’t. But, wherever possible, let them speak for themselves.
If you do need to fill in a gap or contradict your family member, make sure you do so with respect. Making the family member feel like a child will only make things more difficult in the long-run.
Ask Direct Questions
Direct questions give you the information that you need. Try to avoid anything vague, like ‘how is my father doing?’. Vague questions don’t provide you with answers that you can use.
Write Things Down
Keep details about any questions that you want to ask, along with notes about behavior and any concerning symptoms. This helps you be sure that the major points are addressed within a doctor’s visit.
Leave When Needed
It’s also important to respect your loved one’s privacy. Be prepared to leave the room if they need to discuss something sensitive.
This is important even if you don’t think they should be embarrassed. Some people would rather not address an issue at all than to do so with a family member present. Incontinence is one such problem and there are plenty of others too.
Keep Track of Medications
Medications can quickly get complicated, especially for seniors. Many will be taking multiple medications, often at different points in the day.
Some are even taking too many medications, as doctors often keep the senior on previous medication, even if the original reason for that medication is unclear.
Every piece of information that you can provide will help. This includes having a list of medications, along with any notes about why a medication was prescribed in the first place.
Have One Family Point of Contact
Doctors are busy people – and it’s impractical to have multiple people contacting them, providing information and asking questions. The process gets even more problematic if family members disagree.
It’s more effective to have a single point of contact, ideally the caregiver.
Communicate Efficiently
Talk to the doctor about the best way(s) to contact them. Some doctors might prefer emails they can respond to when they have the time. Others may want you to leave a message.
Make sure you’re available for them to get back to you. This may mean providing a time where you know you’ll be free – and not changing plans.
The less back-and-forth there is, the smoother everything may go.
It may also be important to get key information in writing. This is especially powerful if multiple family members are involved in care. The process decreases the risk that information gets lost in translation.
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