The importance of caregiving cannot be exaggerated. Many seniors cannot safely live on their own and want to remain in their own homes for as long as possible. Caregivers help them to achieve this goal.
Yet, as we all know, caregiving is an incredibly challenging role. It’s difficult
It’s not just the difficulty either.
Caregivers deal with chronic stress, which can affect their physical and mental health. In the long-term, their health can be significantly complicated, making them more likely to need help themselves. Financial resources take a hit as well, with many caregivers cutting down their hours or leaving work altogether.
There is also a risk of caregiver burnout. This becomes a particularly big problem when caregivers don’t practice self-care. And let’s be honest, self-care is a great concept, but many caregivers simply aren’t able to practice it well, if at all.
Caregivers often have the sense that they should persevere – no matter what. But, that’s not always realistic. Sometimes the burden of caregiving is just too much. In other cases, your family member would get better care in a different way (even if they don’t like the concept).
As a result, caregivers sometimes need to take a step back and say enough is enough.
The idea often looks and sounds selfish from the outside. Yet, those who judge the harshest are typically those who haven’t been caregivers themselves.
What to Do
If this is you, if you feel that caregiving simply isn’t tenable anymore, the main thing to do is look for alternatives.
Search as if caregiver were not an option, as if it were not possible for anyone to be a caregiver. What are the alternatives? What can be done?
Care facilities are one of the most obvious examples. You’ll need to look into funding and how this would be paid for. For seniors who are relatively independent, affordable housing may be another angle to consider.
Talk to the senior centers in your local area to get a sense of what the options and the alternatives are. Talk to your family too.
Family members may be resistant to the idea. But, they may still be able to come together financially, especially when it becomes clear that long-term caregiving really isn’t an option.
The AARP offers useful advice about what to do if you cannot be a caregiver, including ways to address your emotions.
How to React to Haters
There will probably be some people in your life that think the idea is selfish, that its your duty to care for your family member.
Those people are often the same ones who were unwilling to provide help or support when you were a caregiver. Remember too that the people who talk like this don’t truly know the experience of caregiving.
Besides that, it’s not selfish to want to have a life. In many cases, you have other people who need your care and support, including children.
Some of the alternatives to caregiving are also better for your family member. This is a key point to focus on. Most family caregivers don’t have any training at all and they’re thrust into the role with little preparation.
That’s bad for everyone concerned.
Your family member will often adjust to the changes in time as well. For example, there are many cases where an elderly parent finds that they enjoy assisted living communities, even though they hated the concept initially.
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